Stuff. We all have ‘stuff’ in our lives. There are many aspects to it, some is imposed on us, some we bring upon ourselves and some is really other peoples' stuff.
Regardless of where it comes from, it has an impact on who we are, how we behave and what we think of ourselves. Is your stuff your own? Do you carry burdens that you need not bear? Do not carry burdens that aren't yours! Analyze what affects you most and where it comes from. The reality is that we will continue to have 'stuff' come into our lives. How we deal with it and especially our ability to let it go is vital to our emotional and physical well being.
What we need to realize is that we cannot change other people, not greatly anyway. Can we change how others behave? Not usually but perhaps in some cases and that's great! We do have the ability to change ourselves, how we behave, and how we react to things. One thing I cannot stress enough is that if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always gotten. Sometimes we need to get off of the merry-go-round of habits and actions that are not beneficial to our happiness and well being.
Here is a formula that is very helpful to me and I hope you will be able to use it too:
E + R = O
Events + our Reaction = an Outcome
Therefore, if you are always reacting in a similar way to a certain event you will always (usually) get the same outcome. So, if you change the formula to E + O = R you can think of the particular Event with the Outcome that you desire to have and then decide on how you are going to React differently to get that desired Outcome.
Some of the effects of holding on to feelings of past mistakes, guilt, shame or anger are emotional and physical unwellness. They go hand in hand. If you are emotionally unwell, chances are you are going to be physically unwell also. Emotional distress can lead to such things as depression, lethargy (tiredness), and lack of motivation. On the same token, physical sickness can lead to emotional sickness as well. It can be difficult to keep positive when you aren’t feeling well at all.
As we develop the tools for dealing with our emotional and physical well being we will be better equipped to tell those unhealthy thoughts and feelings to back off, to leave us alone. We will then be empowered, more in charge of our emotional and physical health. What a great place to be!
So when we have worked on ourselves, forgiving, letting go, and forgetting those unhealthy thoughts we become more open for good thoughts, good feelings, and positive experiences. We become much more in control of who we want to be. That in turn makes us more the person we want to be giving us more power over where we are going and how we are going to get there.
So I encourage you to let go of the negative, inhale the positive and decide to enjoy your life more!
Until next time,
Val
