Hello Dear Readers,
I am so very excited to let you all know that I will be holding workshops at the Women's Resource Centre in Beamsville. To the left of this post is a link to the Facebook invitation.
It is very exciting to have this partnership with the centre and I look forward to meeting alot of new women who have an interest in their personal growth.
There is a nominal charge of $5 per evening to help offset the cost of the programs. Please pre-register so that I know who to expect and I can have materials ready for you.
Come on and check it out. Bring a friend for some great evenings of learning, growing, and sharing.
I hope to see you there.
Until next time,
Val
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Monday, 29 August 2011
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Things happen and sometimes you don't even see it coming.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Denial will keep us from taking ownership and moving forward.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
You begin to see there is something different but what IS has become your "normal", good, bad, or otherwise. You see you've just made some bad choices - you can move forward.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
It may not be easy but steer clear of the situation in your life that is signified by the hole!
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
Make an absolute change to a different attitude, a different, healthier way of living.
Thank you Portia! for this analagy - I have lived it!!
~ Portia Nelson ~
(There's a Hole in My Sidewalk)
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
Dog Days of Summer
Wow, it's so hard to believe how fast summer is passing by. It is a busy time for all of us yet it is supposed to be vacation, isn't it?
I hope you have all had a wonderful summer so far and are remembering to be good to yourselves as well.
It is important to make time, take time for yourself to rejeuvenate and fill your spirit so you can be the best you!
What do you do to relax? How do you find your inner peace and sanity? Do you take care of you when you are sick?
I'd like for you to answer the questions above in the comments section so we can share with each other. I'll look forward to hearing from you.
Until next time,
Val
I hope you have all had a wonderful summer so far and are remembering to be good to yourselves as well.
It is important to make time, take time for yourself to rejeuvenate and fill your spirit so you can be the best you!
What do you do to relax? How do you find your inner peace and sanity? Do you take care of you when you are sick?
I'd like for you to answer the questions above in the comments section so we can share with each other. I'll look forward to hearing from you.
Until next time,
Val
Thursday, 9 June 2011
Here I am, Now What?
There are many times in life when we find ourselves in situations or places that are foreign to us. Things such as the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, divorce or even moving to a different area or perhaps even a new country may leave us feeling displaced or alone.
During these times, these situations, we will run a gamut of emotions; fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, perhaps in the case of moving even excitement. You get the picture. What is our best defence in these situations? Finding a support system in people who are either going through a similar situation or have gone through it. My belief is that experience is the best teacher. When you have UNDERSTANDING of a situation rather than EMPATHY for it, you have so much more to offer. Knowing the emotions and feelings of a situation is a much more effective way to help another, more effective than any book knowledge. We all need someone we can turn to or rely on to help us through the most difficult of times.
Believing in yourself and your strength to get through it and get on with it is also very important. When we are challenged we learn about ourselves and our strengths. Think of a situation where your initial thought was, “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this!” Now think about how you did get through it, who did you rely on, what resources did you use, what strength or determination did it take for you to get there? We are far more powerful and capable than we ever would imagine.
Make a plan, set some goals, and take charge of the situation to the best of your ability. Some situations we create ourselves and we have to live with the consequences. Other situations just seem to happen to us, an unexpected death in the family for example or being downsized or fired from a job. In any case, if we take charge as best we can we will at least feel like we have some say in what happens next. We cannot change the past, we can only deal with the present and prepare for the future.
So here you are, now what? Let’s say you have moved to a new country. (A wonderful new friend of mine has specifically asked for me to include this in my blog) Unfamiliar territory, new faces, and foreign languages are some of the challenges one will face. Just think of a newcomer trying to understand the idioms of our foreign language.
For example, a newcomer might hear the following:
· “What’s the damage?” and wonder who did something wrong when in reality it means, “How much does something cost?”
· “Put on your thinking cap” this means you think very hard about something.
· “In the dark” means you don’t know what is happening around you. Kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?
· “Full speed ahead” – If people do something with all their enthusiasm and energy, they go full speed ahead.
· “Don’t knock it” (often used with “Till you try it”) – don’t criticize it.
· “They wear their heart on their sleeve – means that their feelings/emotions are very obvious. You can easily see them
There are many resources online to assist us to understand the idioms that are used in our English language. I just did a Google search and followed some of the links. I found this site that has worksheets that might be of use http://www.stickyball.net/idioms/199.html Again, there will likely be many others.
Now in fairness to all of my readers there are other situations that we find ourselves in that are foreign to us. The unexpected death of a loved one or the end of a marriage, which in and of itself is like a death, an end. This becomes a foreign land. You are suddenly a single, no longer a couple. There is a foreign language – widow/widower, single parent. There are many new emotions – fear, anxiety, stress, loneliness, uncertainty. Your future seems unclear and what once was familiar is now unfamiliar. Even the simple motions of getting through the day, socializing, and coming home to an empty house – it changes everything. I know I’ve experienced this firsthand. Even if it wasn’t an ideal situation you still mourn the loss and go through a grieving process.
My encouragement in any challenging or unfamiliar situation is to find support. In these times there are support groups for everything, seriously! You never have to feel alone or foreign in your own situation. Once you find others who have gone through, or are going through, what you are you will no longer feel like a foreigner but a part of a group, a family if you will.
We all need someone we can relate to, depend on to help us through our most difficult of times. Sometimes that can be found even in strangers who become our biggest source of support. Get out there and find yours!
Until next time,
Val
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Lighten Up By Letting Go!
Stuff. We all have ‘stuff’ in our lives. There are many aspects to it, some is imposed on us, some we bring upon ourselves and some is really other peoples' stuff.
Regardless of where it comes from, it has an impact on who we are, how we behave and what we think of ourselves. Is your stuff your own? Do you carry burdens that you need not bear? Do not carry burdens that aren't yours! Analyze what affects you most and where it comes from. The reality is that we will continue to have 'stuff' come into our lives. How we deal with it and especially our ability to let it go is vital to our emotional and physical well being.
What we need to realize is that we cannot change other people, not greatly anyway. Can we change how others behave? Not usually but perhaps in some cases and that's great! We do have the ability to change ourselves, how we behave, and how we react to things. One thing I cannot stress enough is that if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always gotten. Sometimes we need to get off of the merry-go-round of habits and actions that are not beneficial to our happiness and well being.
Here is a formula that is very helpful to me and I hope you will be able to use it too:
E + R = O
Events + our Reaction = an Outcome
Therefore, if you are always reacting in a similar way to a certain event you will always (usually) get the same outcome. So, if you change the formula to E + O = R you can think of the particular Event with the Outcome that you desire to have and then decide on how you are going to React differently to get that desired Outcome.
Some of the effects of holding on to feelings of past mistakes, guilt, shame or anger are emotional and physical unwellness. They go hand in hand. If you are emotionally unwell, chances are you are going to be physically unwell also. Emotional distress can lead to such things as depression, lethargy (tiredness), and lack of motivation. On the same token, physical sickness can lead to emotional sickness as well. It can be difficult to keep positive when you aren’t feeling well at all.
As we develop the tools for dealing with our emotional and physical well being we will be better equipped to tell those unhealthy thoughts and feelings to back off, to leave us alone. We will then be empowered, more in charge of our emotional and physical health. What a great place to be!
So when we have worked on ourselves, forgiving, letting go, and forgetting those unhealthy thoughts we become more open for good thoughts, good feelings, and positive experiences. We become much more in control of who we want to be. That in turn makes us more the person we want to be giving us more power over where we are going and how we are going to get there.
So I encourage you to let go of the negative, inhale the positive and decide to enjoy your life more!
Until next time,
Val
Regardless of where it comes from, it has an impact on who we are, how we behave and what we think of ourselves. Is your stuff your own? Do you carry burdens that you need not bear? Do not carry burdens that aren't yours! Analyze what affects you most and where it comes from. The reality is that we will continue to have 'stuff' come into our lives. How we deal with it and especially our ability to let it go is vital to our emotional and physical well being.
What we need to realize is that we cannot change other people, not greatly anyway. Can we change how others behave? Not usually but perhaps in some cases and that's great! We do have the ability to change ourselves, how we behave, and how we react to things. One thing I cannot stress enough is that if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always gotten. Sometimes we need to get off of the merry-go-round of habits and actions that are not beneficial to our happiness and well being.
Here is a formula that is very helpful to me and I hope you will be able to use it too:
E + R = O
Events + our Reaction = an Outcome
Therefore, if you are always reacting in a similar way to a certain event you will always (usually) get the same outcome. So, if you change the formula to E + O = R you can think of the particular Event with the Outcome that you desire to have and then decide on how you are going to React differently to get that desired Outcome.
Some of the effects of holding on to feelings of past mistakes, guilt, shame or anger are emotional and physical unwellness. They go hand in hand. If you are emotionally unwell, chances are you are going to be physically unwell also. Emotional distress can lead to such things as depression, lethargy (tiredness), and lack of motivation. On the same token, physical sickness can lead to emotional sickness as well. It can be difficult to keep positive when you aren’t feeling well at all.
As we develop the tools for dealing with our emotional and physical well being we will be better equipped to tell those unhealthy thoughts and feelings to back off, to leave us alone. We will then be empowered, more in charge of our emotional and physical health. What a great place to be!
So when we have worked on ourselves, forgiving, letting go, and forgetting those unhealthy thoughts we become more open for good thoughts, good feelings, and positive experiences. We become much more in control of who we want to be. That in turn makes us more the person we want to be giving us more power over where we are going and how we are going to get there.
So I encourage you to let go of the negative, inhale the positive and decide to enjoy your life more!
Until next time,
Val
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Our Dreams and Goals - Where would we be without them?
Dreams
Ask yourself this question, "What would I do if I had unlimited, time, money and resources?" Go ahead and think about that for a moment, even jot a few things down. I'll wait while you do that........
Well, what did you come up with? Would you sail around the world? Trek through the desert on a camel? Write a book? Stay at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto? (These last two are some of mine) Think of the simplest things and the wildest things you could imagine. Dare to dream!
When you write your dreams down they are more tangible. You get them out of your head and on to paper. Keep a notebook handy so you can write down new dreams as you think of them or scratch off the ones you realize. Imagine that, having a dream fulfilled. Have you had that experience? Didn't it feel great!? What if you had a list of dreams and, while moving through your days you were able to find opportunities to make some of those dreams come true? I've had that experience. My husband and I did this exercise of writing down our dreams list. On my list was to see a NASCAR race. So, Stan knew that this was on my list and when the opportunity arose for him to buy tickets to a race, he was able to do that. He wanted to help me realize one of my dreams! Well, on his list was to visit Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the grounds where the Civil War took place. Also, he wanted to visit the Smithsonian Museums in Washington.
Well, while mapping out the geographical route to my dream, Bristol, Tennessee, he realized that if we headed East instead of straight South, we could realize his dreams and visit Gettysburg AND Washington both on the same trip.
If we had not written down our dreams lists, neither of us would have known what the others dreams were and we would never have likely had those dreams come true. It really was an incredible experience. We shared our dreams and had opportunity to make them happen. What an empowering experience. Now, not all dreams will work out that way. One of my other dreams is to rent a mansion in California for a week or even a month. Will that ever happen? Not necessarily so, but it is a wonderful dream and you never know if that kind of opportunity might come along!
Goals
Now what about our goals? We can meld our dreams into actual goals.
The formula for setting goals is as follows:
S - specific
M - measurable
A - attainable
R - realistic
T - timely or tangible
Make your goal setting very specific - decide on the goal, for example, find a new job. That is a pretty general goal. Get more specific - I will find a new job by June 1. Then set specific targets - I will visit all of the businesses in my desired work location and distribute resumes and cover letters to them all within two weeks. After one week of giving out the resumes I will follow up with a phone call to the businesses to see if there are any questions or missing information that I could provide. Then you can gauge how well you have accomplished your goal. You have a timeframe, you have specific tasks and you can measure your progress along the way.
Go ahead, give it a try. Pick something that you want to accomplish and use this method to work through accomplishing this goal and many others.
Our dreams and goals are a large part of who we are and add to the quality and value of our lives. We own our dreams and we shouldn't allow others to take them away from us - which I have done and I know many others have as well. Come back to you and your dreams. They don't cost anything and they don't take up space.
Dare to dream!
Until next time,
Val
Ask yourself this question, "What would I do if I had unlimited, time, money and resources?" Go ahead and think about that for a moment, even jot a few things down. I'll wait while you do that........
Well, what did you come up with? Would you sail around the world? Trek through the desert on a camel? Write a book? Stay at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto? (These last two are some of mine) Think of the simplest things and the wildest things you could imagine. Dare to dream!
When you write your dreams down they are more tangible. You get them out of your head and on to paper. Keep a notebook handy so you can write down new dreams as you think of them or scratch off the ones you realize. Imagine that, having a dream fulfilled. Have you had that experience? Didn't it feel great!? What if you had a list of dreams and, while moving through your days you were able to find opportunities to make some of those dreams come true? I've had that experience. My husband and I did this exercise of writing down our dreams list. On my list was to see a NASCAR race. So, Stan knew that this was on my list and when the opportunity arose for him to buy tickets to a race, he was able to do that. He wanted to help me realize one of my dreams! Well, on his list was to visit Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to visit the grounds where the Civil War took place. Also, he wanted to visit the Smithsonian Museums in Washington.
Well, while mapping out the geographical route to my dream, Bristol, Tennessee, he realized that if we headed East instead of straight South, we could realize his dreams and visit Gettysburg AND Washington both on the same trip.
If we had not written down our dreams lists, neither of us would have known what the others dreams were and we would never have likely had those dreams come true. It really was an incredible experience. We shared our dreams and had opportunity to make them happen. What an empowering experience. Now, not all dreams will work out that way. One of my other dreams is to rent a mansion in California for a week or even a month. Will that ever happen? Not necessarily so, but it is a wonderful dream and you never know if that kind of opportunity might come along!
Goals
Now what about our goals? We can meld our dreams into actual goals.
The formula for setting goals is as follows:
S - specific
M - measurable
A - attainable
R - realistic
T - timely or tangible
Make your goal setting very specific - decide on the goal, for example, find a new job. That is a pretty general goal. Get more specific - I will find a new job by June 1. Then set specific targets - I will visit all of the businesses in my desired work location and distribute resumes and cover letters to them all within two weeks. After one week of giving out the resumes I will follow up with a phone call to the businesses to see if there are any questions or missing information that I could provide. Then you can gauge how well you have accomplished your goal. You have a timeframe, you have specific tasks and you can measure your progress along the way.
Go ahead, give it a try. Pick something that you want to accomplish and use this method to work through accomplishing this goal and many others.
Our dreams and goals are a large part of who we are and add to the quality and value of our lives. We own our dreams and we shouldn't allow others to take them away from us - which I have done and I know many others have as well. Come back to you and your dreams. They don't cost anything and they don't take up space.
Dare to dream!
Until next time,
Val
Monday, 18 April 2011
Taking the Chance and Stepping Out Once Again!
Well I did it! Today I registered my business. It's called Noticeably You. I must admit that the prospect is very exciting but scary at the same time. Now I'll have to get out there networking and promoting my business.
I do understand that many motivational speakers have to make free presentations in order to network their way into paid ones and I am so willing to do that. The message is more important than the money but it sure will feel great to make somewhat of a living at it!
It would be great to be hired to speak to grade seven and eight girls to help them understand self esteem, self confidence and the difference between the two. The ideal would be to have them go into adolescence with a greater understanding of their worth and unique beauty. This may keep them from making some serious mistakes along the way. I'll work on this one!
This will be a challenging experience with quite a learning curve since I have never been closely associated with anyone who has run their own business. I'm up for the challenge of tackling another of my life's goals and doing the best that I can at it. I can't encourage you enough to allow yourself to dream, set some concrete goals and work at making them happen.
What an awesome segue into the lesson for my workshop this week. Our Dreams and Goals. Whether you are in my workshop or not, I sure hope that if you are reading my blog you find some encouragement, excitement and challenge for your own personal and/or professional development.
Until next time,
Val
I do understand that many motivational speakers have to make free presentations in order to network their way into paid ones and I am so willing to do that. The message is more important than the money but it sure will feel great to make somewhat of a living at it!
It would be great to be hired to speak to grade seven and eight girls to help them understand self esteem, self confidence and the difference between the two. The ideal would be to have them go into adolescence with a greater understanding of their worth and unique beauty. This may keep them from making some serious mistakes along the way. I'll work on this one!
This will be a challenging experience with quite a learning curve since I have never been closely associated with anyone who has run their own business. I'm up for the challenge of tackling another of my life's goals and doing the best that I can at it. I can't encourage you enough to allow yourself to dream, set some concrete goals and work at making them happen.
What an awesome segue into the lesson for my workshop this week. Our Dreams and Goals. Whether you are in my workshop or not, I sure hope that if you are reading my blog you find some encouragement, excitement and challenge for your own personal and/or professional development.
Until next time,
Val
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