What a Week

This has been quite an incredible week in my life.  Right up there as one of THE most incredible weeks in my life! (The births of each of my children take top spots)

I have made so many positive, encouraging, and empowering connections that, with each one, my head simply spins.  I am hearing the same affirmations over and over again, "You can do this!", "I see your passion!."  Things are falling in to place for me to get phenomenal training and personal and business coaching.  All I can say is WOW!

My journey has brought me to this place not by chance but with work and determination to get here.  I feel that I am on the threshold of success and I just need to take those critical "next steps" to do it.  I am using every resource that I have available to me in order to do that.  I thank those who have given their time, expertise and encouragement, you've changed my world!

Let me give you a little background.  In 2001 I was a single mom working as a custodian at a private high school.  One morning while mopping the floor I decided that I wanted more out of life.  I asked myself if I wanted to retire doing that job or if I even wanted to be doing it a year from then.  The answer was very clear, "No!"  So, I took the steps I needed to take in order to move forward.  I knew I needed more education ( I only had high school) so I enrolled in college at 38 years old.  I was suffering a great lack of self esteem and self confidence so this was WAY out of my comfort zone.  The first day of classes I asked myself what I was doing there.  Ultimately I graduated and began an Administrative Assistant career.

Between 2004 and now alot has happened in my journey.  I have overcome my lack of self esteem and built up my level of confidence.  It has come from the inside out.  I determined, again, that I wanted something better for me personally.  I wanted to be stronger, healthier and happier with who I am.  I took opportunities to step outside of my comfort zone and really challenge myself.  In many cases early on it was others believing in me that gave me the faith and confidence for the challenges.  I am SO glad that I believed and took those chances.  I have grown and developed as a person and I AM healthier and happier than ever before.  The support of family, friends, peers and acquaintances makes all the difference to one's success or failure.

So here I am now at this juncture in the journey with new possibilities and challenges ahead.  A new set of "next steps" to be taken and I am ready to embrace them and forge ahead to the success that awaits me.  I am learning the steps, taking the steps and I will reap the benefits of the work I am putting into it. 

I have far too long been sitting on my dreams, it's now time to take ACTION.

A-ccountability
C-onfidence
T-rust
I-nspiration
O-utcomes
N-ever say never

Are you ready to take ACTION in your journey? 

Until next time,

Val

Ah Ha!

Have you ever had an Ah-Ha moment?  I have and I hope that every person has at least one in their lifetime. I'm hoping that I have more as the feeling is totally incredible!

About a year or so ago I began writing a book.  I chose a title and outlined the chapter headings and even started chapter one.  I liked the title but it just never felt like "it".  I kept letting it rumble around in my head and didn't get back to writing too much.

Well recently while getting ready for one of my workshops in my head I was addressing the women and telling them that I am a work in progress.  Ah-Ha, A Work In Progress, that's "it"!!!!  So I have now restructured all of my chapter headings and written a new introduction and begun new, and improved, chapters.  In that Ah-Ha moment, I also envisioned the cover of my book in relation to the theme.  It was VERY clear and visible in my head.  I couldn't be more excited about this project.  On my dreams list is to be an author and so my dream is closer than ever before.

I could never have imagined the power and impact of such a moment even if someone had asked me to describe such a thing.  I didn't force it to come, I didn't try to make it happen.  It just finally did.  I knew that I wasn't quite there but now I know for sure where to go with it.

My book will be a stand alone, self help book with fill ins from each chapter so the reader will want to really understand the context.  Then there will be a self assessment page for relating the topic to the reader's life experience.  I also plan to create a keynote program around the book that I could present at women's groups, conferences and ladies days.

Now I just need to get writing and let my book fully come to life.  I'll keep you posted.

Until next time,

Val

The Nurturing Project - Look How Far We've Come!

So here is my plant a little more than a month from the beginning of this project.  Just look at my little plant go! 

I have been faithfully watering and feeding this little plant and now it is becoming very top heavy with alot of new leaves.  Can you see how the weight is now shifting? In the first photo what stood out were the long, dead stems devoid of many green, healthy leaves. The plant quickly began to recover and started growing more and more leaves.The long, dead stems are becoming less significant in light of the new growth, the nurturing, that is creating healthy and strong leaves. So it can be with our lives. Sure we have a past and some are far more challenging than others. 

If our past has been, or our present is, less than ideal our focus may just be on the bare stems since there isn't very much new growth going on at the top. If that is the case we need to change our focus, to look at nurturing ourselves - good soil (surround ourselves with good, positive people), food (self-improvement workshops, personal development activities, challenging ourselves for growth), sun and air (have some fun, learn to live not simply exist! Breathe!)

We can overcome when we nurture ourselves, challenge ourselves to become strong, full beings reaching our fullest potential. Then, the challenging past, perhaps the less than ideal life can become much smaller and less significant in contrast to the new growth, the new knowledge, the new us.

Sure, the past is a part of who we are but it doesn't necessarily have to be a part of who we become if we decide to leave it behind, to overcome it.

So how do we go about nurturing ourselves? I'm glad you asked! Find something that you love to do and DO IT! Find your passion, and take time for it.  Even if you can't do it full time due to work, family, whatever.  Take care of your body. Eat right and exercise to keep healthy and strong.  Feed your soul.  Find faith, spirituality, whatever brings your inner being peace and happiness.  Challenge yourself to step outside the box, out of your comfort zone.  Surely at some point in your life you have had nervous excitement.  Didn't you feel alive and energized?  Wouldn't it be great to continue to have that feeling on purpose?  Educate yourself.  Take classes or free online courses to feed your mind and gain new knowledge about the world around you.

All in all, take time for you.  It's not about neglecting what needs to be done, simply putting importance on what is good, nurturing, for you.  The healthier we are, the happier we are the better we are able to nurture and encourage those around us.

You deserve it!

Until next time,

Val

What I Have Learned From My Plant, The Nurturing Project Continued

This is a new photo of my plant taken the end of March.  I hope you can see that there are many more leaves that are stronger and healthier.

What I see with the damaged, neglected stem is how our lives can be if we have been neglected, mistreated, damaged. We cannot change what was, we can only change what is. I may have to cut the top of the plant off and re-root it so it will grow healthy and strong from the bottom up.

Sometimes in our lives we have to make the hard decision to make a cut from the past, or present, that keeps us from being strong and healthy from the inside out.  That can sometimes mean coming t a place of forgiveness with the people or circumstances that have affected our lives. Only then will we be free to live and thrive. We must nurture ourselves, love ourselves, and have a proper environment and good food to keep us moving forward.

That is all for now. I will give this plant a little more time but I am pretty sure I will have to make the cut and replant it so it will be completely healthy from the bottom up. I will continue the Nurturing Project in future posts. I will include it in my book one day.  Thanks for reading!

The Great Divide

Are your self-esteem and self-confidence in sync with each other?  Do you believe from the inside out that you are a valuable and worthy being?  If not, you are residing in the great divide.  I've been there and done that.  However, through challenging myself, personal, and professional development I have found a place where my self-esteem and self-confidence are more in sync.  That being said, I am still a work in progress.

The reality is that we can have self-esteem without having the self-confidence to do such things as public speaking, belonging to associations or volunteering on various committees.  It is possible to know your value and worth without recognizing your abilities and talents to really make a difference in the world.  On the same token, which was the case for me, I had the self-confidence to be in a crowd, to speak with people, to volunteer at my children's school but I had no self-esteem whatsoever. When I decided to join the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) I outwardly had the confidence to want to join but my lack of self-esteem was screaming at me on the way to the first meeting, "You stupid, stupid woman.  What do you think you are doing?  You don't belong there.  They are all going to look at you like you don't belong when you walk in."  On the contrary I have met the most amazing women who have become my role models.  I'm really glad I didn't listen to those voices and turn my car around without going to that meeting.  I have had many new experiences due to joining this association; I have travelled in Canada and the US all on my own, I have been Chapter President (Chairing meetings with 30 of my peers) and learned that I am more than capable of handling such responsibilities.

So what IS self-confidence?  It is the belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.  Having self-confidence allows you to step outside your comfort zone, stretch your limits and really feel alive. 

What damages our self-confidence and keeps us from really living our lives?  Fear.  I heard a really good acronym for fear while researching for my workshop.  It is as follows:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Our fears are the thoughts and ideas we have grown to know or the lies we tell ourselves.  Are we, as children, naturally afraid of heights for example?  I don't believe so. My opinion is that it is a learned behaviour passed down when our parent or caregiver responds with fear when we are too close to the edge of a cliff.  The same can be said for our other fears; being in a crowd, public speaking, bugs or carnival rides.  What we learn is what we have come to believe.  It is up to us to decide whether our fears are real or an idea that was learned. Of course there are very real fears that we should pay attention to.  When we have fears for our personal safety or the safety of those around us, fear for our emotional stability or spiritual well being, we NEED to act immediately.  Furthermore, there are more subtle yet very real fears.  That feeling in your stomache that nags at you that something is not right or that little voice in your head that warns you about something.  Be sure to listen to those indicators of fear that are built in for your personal well being.

It is up to us to evaluate our own self-esteem and self-confidence.  This will better enable us in planning where we want to go and what we want to do.    YOUR belief in YOU is what matters most.  Our only real limitations are those that we impose on ourselves.  As Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right."  Think about the power of that statement, again, "Whether you think you can or can't, your're right!"

If you are really in need of a reality check when it comes to your feeling of self, check out this video and then write down exactly what your limitations are and how you are going to overcome them, because you CAN!!!

No Arms, No Legs, No Worries Part 3

You have arms, you have legs, what's your worry?

Until next time!

Val