Are your self-esteem and self-confidence in sync with each other? Do you believe from the inside out that you are a valuable and worthy being? If not, you are residing in the great divide. I've been there and done that. However, through challenging myself, personal, and professional development I have found a place where my self-esteem and self-confidence are more in sync. That being said, I am still a work in progress.
The reality is that we can have self-esteem without having the self-confidence to do such things as public speaking, belonging to associations or volunteering on various committees. It is possible to know your value and worth without recognizing your abilities and talents to really make a difference in the world. On the same token, which was the case for me, I had the self-confidence to be in a crowd, to speak with people, to volunteer at my children's school but I had no self-esteem whatsoever. When I decided to join the International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) I outwardly had the confidence to want to join but my lack of self-esteem was screaming at me on the way to the first meeting, "You stupid, stupid woman. What do you think you are doing? You don't belong there. They are all going to look at you like you don't belong when you walk in." On the contrary I have met the most amazing women who have become my role models. I'm really glad I didn't listen to those voices and turn my car around without going to that meeting. I have had many new experiences due to joining this association; I have travelled in Canada and the US all on my own, I have been Chapter President (Chairing meetings with 30 of my peers) and learned that I am more than capable of handling such responsibilities.
So what IS self-confidence? It is the belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance. Having self-confidence allows you to step outside your comfort zone, stretch your limits and really feel alive.
What damages our self-confidence and keeps us from really living our lives? Fear. I heard a really good acronym for fear while researching for my workshop. It is as follows:
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
Our fears are the thoughts and ideas we have grown to know or the lies we tell ourselves. Are we, as children, naturally afraid of heights for example? I don't believe so. My opinion is that it is a learned behaviour passed down when our parent or caregiver responds with fear when we are too close to the edge of a cliff. The same can be said for our other fears; being in a crowd, public speaking, bugs or carnival rides. What we learn is what we have come to believe. It is up to us to decide whether our fears are real or an idea that was learned. Of course there are very real fears that we should pay attention to. When we have fears for our personal safety or the safety of those around us, fear for our emotional stability or spiritual well being, we NEED to act immediately. Furthermore, there are more subtle yet very real fears. That feeling in your stomache that nags at you that something is not right or that little voice in your head that warns you about something. Be sure to listen to those indicators of fear that are built in for your personal well being.
It is up to us to evaluate our own self-esteem and self-confidence. This will better enable us in planning where we want to go and what we want to do. YOUR belief in YOU is what matters most. Our only real limitations are those that we impose on ourselves. As Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or can't, you're right." Think about the power of that statement, again, "Whether you think you can or can't, your're right!"
If you are really in need of a reality check when it comes to your feeling of self, check out this video and then write down exactly what your limitations are and how you are going to overcome them, because you CAN!!!
No Arms, No Legs, No Worries Part 3
You have arms, you have legs, what's your worry?
Until next time!
Val
No comments:
Post a Comment